Life Goes On
by Frog Slayer
Summary: Ryouga and Ukyou get trapped in a snow storm. Ukyou nearly dies and reveals her tragic past. REVIEW


Life Goes On

Written by: Frog Slayer

------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ = thinking

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ukyou walked through an endless horizon of white. Her hair and clothing were soaked. Her entire body was numb. No, everything was numb, her body, her mind, her soul, her heart . The man she loved, loved another woman. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing, not even life. If she died in this frozen white void, then so be it. No one would miss her. Sure, people pretended to like her in Nerima, but it was only pretend. No one cared about her.

As Ukyou's legs gave in to the urge to cease functioning, her mind began wandering, remembering things better forgotten. 

~Oh Ran-chan, I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy. I hope you live a long and joyful life without me. I love you, Ran-chan. You were my world, my everything, and now you're gone.~

"I love you, Ran-chan. Nothing matters without you. Nothing matters . . . " Ukyou faded into unconsciousness as tears streamed down her cold blue cheeks. Her Ran-chan would not come for her, no one would come for her. 

*** 

Ryouga had finally found the Tendo Dojo. He was practically giddy with joy, but true men weren't giddy they were . . . whatever the guy form of giddy was, so he was that. The eternally lost boy walked up to the door ready to knock, when Ukyou ran past him, crystalline tears trailing behind her. He turned to watch her, as she ran through the midwinter snow. Her distress was sending a small pang through him. Maybe it was guilt, maybe it was just knowing how she felt, but, he knew someone had to follow her.

Ranma didn't seem to be in much of a hurry, standing in the doorway, hugging Akane. Oh, how Ryouga longed to beat Ranma's head in for that, but someone needed him, and he'd be damned if he let anyone, let alone a woman, suffer the pain he had, alone. 

Gathering his resolve, Ryouga walked up to the happy couple. He looked Ranma straight in the eyes. "What happened?" Ranma never had to say a word, that look said everything. That look of sorrow mixed with joy, said everything. Ranma and Akane had admitted their love for each other. 

Ryouga ran from the Tendo Dojo. As tears threatened to well up, he told himself he had to stay calm, he had to be strong. Someone needed him, and he wasn't about to let them down. Not when it was this important.

The lost boy ran for hours. When he finally found Ukyou, his heart filled with joy. She was there, in front of him, still walking and alive. He started running faster to catch up with her. 

Ryouga had almost made it to her when she collapsed in the cold white snow. He ran to her, hearing her final words. Her voice had been faint, but he had heard a hopelessness that rivaled his own, if not surpassed.

~Shit! I have to get her safe!~ 

Ryouga was frantically searching his surroundings for some form of shelter. Through the blinding snow, he could make out a small cabin, a few meters ahead. It couldn't have had more than four rooms. There were lights on inside, very dim, probably from candles.

Ryouga lifted the unconscious girl into his arms, holding her close to him. The young man stared at her face, pale and blue from the cold, yet still beautiful. His friend was dying, and this time, it truly was all Ranma's fault. There was no one else to be blamed for this, and so, Ryouga vowed he would do everything in his power to make sure she stayed alive, and at least somewhat happy.

By the time these thoughts had gone through Ryouga's head, they had reached the cabin. Somehow the lost boy had managed to beat on the door around the bundle in him arms. After a few seconds of pounding, an elderly man came to the door. The man had had a decidedly angry look on his face but, the second he saw Ukyou, it was replaced by concern.

"Bring her in, there's a rug over there by the fire, lay her on that. I'll see if I can find a blanket." The man went into a room to the right of the fire place. 

Ryouga obediently laid Ukyou on the rug. He didn't even realize he had been rubbing her arms and legs, until the elderly man nudged him aside, spreading a fuzzy blanket over the unconscious girl. He turned to address Ryouga.

"Young man, I'm afraid I only have this one blanket to spare. I could look for some spare clothing, if you like?"

  
  


"You've already done more than enough. I'll be fine. I'm more worried about Ukyou." Finishing he glanced at his friend on the floor.

A young girl, maybe five, got up from a couch in the room. "So, that's your girlfriend's name? You still haven't given yours though."

"She's not my girlfriend or anything, we're just friends! I swear!" Ryouga was blushing a deep crimson.

"Sure, lover boy. Now, what's your name?"

"Oh . . . Ryouga Hibiki." He bowed formally, still blushing.

"Now Varie, don't be rude."

"Come on Gramps, he's so cute when he blushes."

That statement sent the lost boy into a new fit of blushing, which caused little Varie to giggle cutely.

The brief distraction was interrupted, when Ukyou in a hoarse voice, called out to her father.

"It's getting late, we better get off to bed." The man picked up his unruly granddaughter, and went back into the room he had entered earlier.

Ryouga mentally thanked him. He wasn't looking forward to the conversation that was to come with only him and Ukyou present, let alone complete strangers.

The young man looked at his companion. Her chest was rising and falling, slowly, but steadily. She had also gained some color in her cheeks. She was going to be okay.

With a sigh of relief, the lost boy walked over to kneel beside her slumbering form. He marveled at the idea that someone so strong, so intelligent, so independent, could give up on life that easily. The thought of the woman before him, so filled with despair, that nothing mattered, it just didn't seem right. It was like the universe had turned upside-down. Next thing you know, he would be running around spouting speeches about how wonderful life was, Kuno and Kodachi would win the most sane person of the year awards, and Ranma wouldn't be a jerk. It just wasn't like Ukyou to be that depressed. Oh well, he'd learned long ago girls were unpredictable. The second you think you understand them, they do something one would never expect. It's best to roll with the punches.

Ryouga was broken out of his revere, when Ukyou started to wake up.

"Wha? Where?" 

The chef looked around in confusion. She was safe in a log cabin. Had her Ran-chan come to save her after all? Finishing her analysis of the room, her eyes landed on her "hero".

"It's about time you woke up." He looked at her, concern pouring from his amber eyes.

"You stupid Jackass! Why the hell did you save me?! I didn't want to live!" Ukyou glared at him.

Ryouga smiled, a morbid little smile. She had said, "didn't want to live" unconsciously indicating she now wanted to. It wasn't much, but he would take it. That didn't mean he wasn't pissed.

"How dare you say something like that to me! I've spent the last six hours following you! You know how hard it is for me to find anything! You're my friend, and if anything happened to you I'd . . . I'd . . . I don't know what I'd do!" He glared down at her. Sometime during his rant, he had stood up. It seemed to have worked though.

"Ryouga, I'm sorry. I . . . I didn't mean to . . ." She smiled up at him, now sitting up on the floor. "I shouldn't have said that, but I . . . I don't know what to do."

Ryouga was, once again, sitting on the floor. He seemed to have calmed down.

"Thank you, Ryouga."

"Don't mention it. Just don't try that again. It's not fun walking around in near freezing temperatures." He smiled at her, as she giggled a little. 

Laughing seemed to have been a mistake. Ukyou sat there coughing for several minutes. Ryouga sat holding her still, so she wouldn't get dizzy from so much movement. She finally finished, and laid down releasing a sigh.

"I'm sorry I made you worry."

"Don't talk. You need to rest."

"Okay, _mom_."

Ryouga released a somewhat aggravated "hmph." He was really glad she was able to make jokes, though. When he had heard those words, drifting through the cold night air, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to help her, even if she revived. He was afraid she had lost all hope, afraid she really felt there was nothing left. Admittedly, Ryouga didn't seem to be one to talk about depression. He was always depressed, but there was always something keeping him going. Whether it was finding someone, to kill them, date them, or save them, he always had a reason to go on living. Besides, if he were to take his life, it would affect others, no matter how little. Ukyou must not have realized that out there in the snow all alone. 

Ryouga's trail of thought finally died out. He knew what he had to say, but he didn't want to. It would not only hurt the woman before him, but also himself. Tears streaked down his cheeks. He kept telling himself he had to do it.

"Ukyou?"

"Hmm?" 

~That smile, she's happy. How can I ask her about . . . about . . . them, when just a little while ago she was ready to die because of it? It would crush her . . . I have to. If she doesn't deal with it now, she won't be able to later.~

"Ukyou, I . . . um . . . got to the Dojo, just as you were leaving, earlier. I know what's going on."

Ukyou turned her head to stare at the floor. Ryouga hesitantly put a hand on her should, but she brushed it off. They sat there a few minutes, neither doing anything, until the young chef looked at her fanged friend questioningly. 

"Why did he pick her? He said I was cute, right? Wasn't I good enough for him? Why does this always happen to me?"

At the last question the lost boy became confused. He looking into her blue eyes, searching for an answer. "Why does what always happen to you?"

"Everyone I love . . . leaves me. First, mom died, when I was four. She was very sick. Daddy took her to a hospital. He never told me anything about what happened until after she died. I still remember the funeral. He was so sad, but he tried to act happy, so I wouldn't feel so bad."

"Then dad died. It was a few months after Ran-ch . . . Ranma's dad ran off with our cart. He kept saying I was ruined for marriage. At _five_ he thought I was ruined for marriage. Well, he stopped eating, he was so worried. I'm not sure, but I think he was using that as an excuse to mourn my mother's death."

" I tried everything, I had to watch as my father wasted away because of that jackass! There were so many things wrong with him by the time he died, the examiner couldn't figure out what he died of." Ukyou looked into Ryouga's eyes expecting the shock she saw in them. She released a small self depreciating laugh and continued. "I ran away after dad died. I left because I didn't want to live in an orphanage. Of course, I wanted to beat the living crap out of Ranma, and his old man. *snort* Too bad I only managed one. When Ranma said I was cute, it all kinda' 'clicked'. I was engaged to the guy, right? I didn't want anyone else to die, and if I married him, I'd be making my fathers wishes come true. So, I kept up the facade. I suppose it got kinda' addictive after awhile. I told everyone I came here for some stupid reason, so I wouldn't be sent to some foster home or something. Here I am now. I can't give my dad his last wish, and I was a jackass for thinking I ever could." She finished, staring at the floor again.

Ryouga sat silently. He didn't know what to say. Ukyou had told him things from her past that, even to him, were unimaginable. It completely confounded him why she hadn't broken down earlier. She had nothing. He at least knew his parents were alive. He knew there was a place he could go home to. She had neither.

The lost boy lifted his eyes to look into hers. A strange joy that she felt while in his company flooded through her. This was a joy no one could take from her, no matter what they did. Ryouga would always leave, but she felt a sort of satisfaction in knowing he always came back. He was her only constant in life. Just the knowledge that he would return was enough. Ukyou hoped that her insane rambling hadn't scared him. She just needed to vent on someone. The relief she felt from being able to release her secret was undescribable. Out in that cold dead snow, she had been sure she would die, alone and forgotten. Now, staring into Ryouga's brown eyes she realized, she was no longer alone. She had a friend. Someone who understood pain and loss.

If anyone on the planet, at that moment, deserved to be depressed, it was Ukyou. Yet, true to her character, she began smiling. Her parents were dead, and she had lost the man she loved to another, only hours ago, and here she was, smiling as if nothing had happened. Something had happened. Ryouga knew first hand the pain from what had occurred. He no longer felt he deserved to mourn his loss, though. Ukyou had better reason to be unhappy and she was sitting there, smiling.

The silence had gone on for a long time. Neither martial artist felt like talking, but Ryouga had a question that wouldn't stop bugging him.

"How do you do it?" He looked at his friend with sad brown eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"How can you be happy, when life has been so awful to you? I don't understand."

"Ya' know sugar, I use to let everything get me down. I use to be just as depressed as you." Ryouga's eyes grew at that statement. Ukyou just giggled. "Yep, it's true. I still feel sad because of mom and dad's death, and Ranma choosing Akane hurts like hell, but, life goes on. I'm alive and I'll be damned if I'm gonna wallow in self-pity. I've played that game before, and I don't like it. Ranma and my parents would want me to be happy. So that's what I'll be, happy." Ukyou's smile was replaced by a look of complete seriousness, as she took Ryouga's hands into hers. His hands were shaking and there was a rather noticeable blush on his cheeks. "Ryouga, look at me." He complied, feeling a lump in his throat. "There's no sense in being depressed all the time. All it does is make ya' unhappy, and other people avoid you. Believe me honey, I know." 

Ryouga sat there staring at the young woman before him, a sense of shock filling his body. Ukyou didn't want to let go of her friend until she knew her words had sunk in. 

Ryouga just couldn't remember what was going on, so many questions were swimming through his head. What did she mean? What was she doing holding his hands? Why were her words taking such a toll on him? Why am I depressed all the time? He didn't know where to start answering. 

It took him a few minutes to realize something. He didn't feel sad. He wasn't hurt because Akane loved Ranma. Well, he was, but not to the extent he thought he would be. It was more of a relieved feeling. He knew she would be happy, and that seemed to be enough. Time heals all wounds. The hurt inside him would go away eventually, and he was glad because of it.

A small grin spread over his features as he looked down at his hands being held, by the small delicate ones of his friend and partner in crime. He wasn't alone. They would make it through this together, as friends. 

"I came here to help you, and you ended up helping me. How'd you do it?"

Ukyou released Ryouga's hands. "I'm multi-talented, clairvoyant, smart, in excellent shape, not to mention a good cook."

"I see you're very modest too." 

Ukyou laughed. "You got me. But, I must know. Since when does the manly and inhumanly strong Ryouga Hibiki let little girls make fun of him?"

"You heard that?!"

"You better believe it! You're never gonna' hear the end of this one, sugar. Oh yes, it will ring throughout the ages, 'Ryouga let a little girl tease him.' Epic poems will be written etc. etc."

Ryouga grumbled, trying to think of a comeback. None came to mind so he said the first thing that popped into his head. "You know, I don't take teasing very well. If you don't stop, I might have to get myself lost."

Ukyou glared at him. She grabbed Ryouga's collar, and pulled him closer to her. "Don't you even joke about that! How can you say something like that, when you're the only one I can talk to! How could you think that!" The chef had begun crying through her rage. With a sigh, she released Ryouga's collar, letting her arms fall limply to her sides.

Ryouga didn't know how to respond to this extreme overreaction. ~Oh great, she's gone nuts. Not that I blame her. Okay, she needs comfort. Words aren't going to work this time, either. What else can I do.~ A blush spread over his cheeks as a thought came to mind. 

Shyly he hugged her, and gently rubbed her back, still blushing. ~Man, she better appreciate this.~ 

After a few minutes he relaxed. He wouldn't have left her alone for all the riches in the world. He couldn't have. Despite what Ukyou might have thought, he needed her as much as she needed him. If it wasn't for the lithe form, being held gently in his embrace right now, he would be crying in an alley somewhere. He may very well have met the same fate she almost had.

"Shhh, I'm not going anywhere until you're safe, and happy. I swore on my honor that I would do everything in my power to assure your happiness." Ryouga whispered into Ukyou's ear soothingly.

The sobbing girl pulled away from him to look at his face. "Really?" He nodded shyly. She smiled and laid her head on his chest. He wasn't Ranma, but she didn't care. She was warm and comfortable. If anyone objected, they'd get an enormous spatula to the face.

Ryouga wrapped his arms around Ukyou as she settled in on his chest. Somehow, it felt right, like he had been waiting all his life for this. ~You're just thinking that 'cause you're on the rebound. This is Ukyou for goodness sakes! What am I thinking?! But, she is really pretty. Shut up brain!~ Though his mind told him sitting with a girl in his arms, when only a few hours ago he had been dumped, was a very bad idea, Ryouga didn't seem to care. She needed the comfort. Yeah, that was it. She needed it.

By the time Ryouga had decided to stay like that, Ukyou had already drifted off into the land of sleep. Blushing, he lightly kissed the top of her head. "Goodnight Ukyou."

Ukyou stirred a little, whispering in her sleep. "G'night Ryouga."

The bandanna clad boy smiled down at his friend, slipping into a dreamless sleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Authors Notes

How was that? This got stuck in my brain and wouldn't leave. Some of the things in this I wrote from near personal experience. My mom nearly died when I was 4. She is very much alive, although she would say otherwise when coming home from work. Chalk this up to my wish to be able to write something serious. 

As always none of the characters, are mine. Except the old guy and Varie, but they don't count. (Wasn't Varie cute though?) Look I'm doing authors notes in authors notes. That's sad, I'll leave.

BYEE!

PS: REVIEW!


End file.
